Bollocks

Naturally last week went by very slowly and was about as entertaining as rubbing my own face in raw sewage. I have to admit, it would be great fun to rub someone else's face in raw sewage, but that wouldn't make much of a difference to most of the people I know.

In contrast to the empty week, this weekend was almost eventful, which is why this post is a wee bit late. So what happened? well on Saturday I went to the House of Zed for the first time in forever. It started off being quite enjoyable, before I started getting bombarded by bollocks. The bollocks briefly settled down a few times, but it soon returned.

So what was the bollocks? It was mainly Zed talking absolute bollocks to try and stop me from becoming a musician in the British Armed Forces. I could understand her wanting me to not sign up if I was going to join the Infantry, but I'm going in to be a musician, I won't see much combat, and even so, the job brief states that during those times I'll be assisting the Army Medical Services.

After I don't know how much bollocks she ended up laying on me, I was able to work out the reason she started all this: she doesn't like the way the Army does things. I don't think she knows how the Army does things, likewise she thinks that I don't know how the Army does things, she also thinks I have an over-romanticised view on it all, and that I'd never get a woman in my life if I join.

One thing is true, I don't know how the Army does things, I only know what I have been told, and what I have read. But I think I know more about my chosen career choice than what she does. As for thesecond point, I do have a bit of a romantic view towards the Army, but not in the way she believes. Finally, for the last point, I always thought girls were looking for a knight in shining armour, I know for a fact that shining armour is bollocks, I'd much rather become the soldier in battle-worn Kevlar.

Her third point was then improved slightly by saying that she wouldn't expect girls in the Army to go for a submissive chap like me. I think quite the contrary, I imagine the girls in the Army would be fed up of having a man tell them what to do all day, every day, I think they'd appreciate the change. Anyway, the bollocks continued, and I tried to direct it at her, but my attempts failed.

After awhile, there was a pause. The pause didn't last very long, and when it ended the bollocks had changed into something completely different. She said I needed to stop falling in love with every girl I meet. I straight up told her that was bollocks,adding that in the time she had known me I had only fallen for one person: her. That ended ages ago, when she decided to spend a forty-five minute long Skype call telling me how big of a cunt I was.

I then had to explain to her why I fell for her, and I then said that it was a common occurrence. Here is a link to an article that explains everything. I don't know how reliable that website is, but that topic is at least touched on in various psychology books. if you read it you'll notice it that it's about falling for your therapist, which is what Zed used to be for me, and she helped me overcome my depression, before sending me back into it, albeit, only briefly.

It wasn't long before the bollocks went back to what it originally was, I was fighting a losing battle, but I'm not going to change just because she asked me to. Thankfully it was soon time for me to leave, and I was grateful to find at home that pizza was in the oven, and my favourite brother was visiting us so we could all sit down together and watch Guardians of the Galaxy, which I'd highly recommend for those of you who haven't yet seen it.

The next day was full of less bollocks, but I get the feeling, I'm going to feel the wrath of more this week, and maybe my angry ex-girlfriend Dana, will come and brutally murder me, which might be nice, or maybe Jade (an annoying dumbass from college) will murder me. Anyway, back to the original topic, I bought my old guitar back off my ex yesterday, it's in a better condition than I thought, but it needs a proper set-up, I've done the best I can and it still isn't right.

As to why this post wasn't posted yesterday, after I bought (and mostly set-up) that guitar, my favourite brother picked me up and so we went up to his and watched films. We only watched two, but we had to go pick his wife up from the train station after the first which took awhile, and then we all sat down to watch the second film while eating dinner.

So I have some film recommendations for those of you who haven't yet seen them: The Lego Movie, Porco Rosso, 40 Year Old Virgin, Frozen and Guardians of the Galaxy. Yes, I did just chose all the films I watched this week, I think all of them are awesome, and I get the feeling you'll like them all too. Enjoy!